Thousand miles from anywhere
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Review by: Raj Shekhar

Destination: Denmark

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I wish I could travel more!!!!!

If a holiday consists of doing absolutely nothing, would it be considered a holiday at all? I mean, can you imagine waking and not having a thing to do, no museums to see, no heritage site to explore, no amusement park to splash around? After 10 days in glorious Seychelles, such questions flooded my mind.
The first thing that strikes you in Seychelles is the sparseness of people and vehicles. For an island group of 121 islands, only five of which are inhabited, the total population is barely over 80,000. Yes, you do the math.
When you plan a trip to these far away islands, you may need deep pockets, yes, (more about that later), you could stretch them wonderfully to fill your days. Like for instance, avoiding any of the star resorts and settling for a self catered accommodation: neat, well kept, even better - stocked with pans in the kitchen, cutlery, neat mattresses, towels, microwave and washing machine. You pick up your supplies and fend for yourself. The effect this has on your wallet will be telling, Trust me.
So you land in Mahe. And you set about exploring it. Dozens upon dozens of beaches, many of which you could call private. Each of these beaches is straight out of a post card: shimmering white and clean sands, packed tight, luminous turquoise sea that lavishes its beauty on the lush green palms swaying indolently. No ugly shacks, no vendors and often, no people. Only beauty.
Houses in Mahe are all the tropical kind and very cute with either sloping tiled roof or thatched. And there is a local law that prohibits buildings taller than a palm tree! Surrounded by lush assorted trees, ferns and creepers, each house is picture perfect. To make it even better, none of them have any fencing around. Apparently there has never been a need!
You must hire a Moke - a cute golf cart, open on all sides, very low slung. It drove pretty well and somehow, it felt like the most ideal vehicle for a beachy jaunt. You can circumnavigate this island in less than an hour, soaking in the amazing flora and seascapes along the way,
The Seychellois are a very trusting sort: friendly, chatty, lazy and at a drop of a hat, ready for a good time. Here you won’t cross your path with pickpockets, luggage thieves or extortionist cabbies – like in many other busy tourist destinations. Locals say there is a lot that is rotten with the state of Seychelles, like greed, unplanned construction and most of all, the big F, forex problem. The saying goes: there are a lot of people who have the right solutions to fix these problems, unfortunately, they are either busy driving cabs or cutting hair! (Forex is a problem since this is a 100% import dependent country, resulting in cost of living being close to European standards).
So a holiday without an agenda is getting to you, huh? Okay, let’s lay it out: there is a National Museum, Morne Seychellois National Park, or Vallee de Mai, a UNESCO Heritage site which is the only place where coco-de-mer grows and some more.
Let’s give you better ways of whiling your hours away. Like an undersea walk. Now, this is for those queasy with the thought of diving with an oxygen tank and a questionable pipe attached to your mouth (believe me, some of us can’t stomach that). They take you on a short motor boat ride to a platform tethered to the sea bed. They give you wet suits, tie weights to your back, give you basic instructions and that’s it: you climb down a vertical ladder, and as your chin is at the sea level they place a giant fish bowl on your shoulders, open at the bottom, juice up the oxygen pumping inside it, and you continue climbing down. Your ears pop just like in an aircraft take off. You climb about 30 steps and jump off to the bottom of the sea bed.
And then the wonderful world unfolds. You are surrounded by water and by an amazing sea life. Tiny fishes swirl around you forming a silver funnel in a scene straight out of NatGeo. Small fishes are by nature inquisitive, so get ready for some nibbling. The bigger ones maintain a dignified distance. You are given bread buns from a plastic packet to feed them. A helpful free-diver sneaks in close to you with a laminated fish name card and points out the relevant fishes that you have spotted. The sea water in Seychelles is so damn clear that even through thin clouds, the sun throws shadows of you some 5 metres down on the sea bed. The experience is unforgettable. When you emerge out, you will be unable to stop talking about. It’s a plunge, no, walk that is highly recommended.
One tip: please invest in an underwater camera. You’ll thank me. Simply because all your words cannot do justice to the experience you’ve had underwater.
It feels somewhat special when locals share some interesting facts: Seychelles has hosted a few Sports Illustrated Swimsuit special shoots, a Bacardi commercial, a few sizzling Pirreli calendar shoots and a Miss World – where amchi Diana Hayden wore the crown. Sometimes you wonder, why hadn’t you heard of Seychelles before, considering it’s in the neighbourhood. It reflects the local philosophy in a way: stay low key and enjoy life and the beauty around.
When you steer your Moke over mountain passes, you will be amazed at the incredible flora there. Get off your Moke on a hill top and go on an impromptu hike. Bet you, you will chance upon the rampantly growing cinnamon tree (evidently some Indian expats have got there before, since the bark is neatly shaved!). Get deeper in the tropical greenery and you will be welcomed by a wild growth of pitcher plants. Not since your Botany text book in school, had you even chanced upon this charming and curious plant.
The weather in Seychelles is particularly blessed. 28° to 31° throughout the year. There are two rainy seasons but that’s a farce: being just 4° below the Equator, it rains practically round the year. But don’t let a shower disappoint you. Point your Moke over the mountains over to the other side of the island and bright blue skies and sun will surely welcome you. And night time temperature is barely 1° below the day temperature.
Meandering through the neat mountain roads, we were presently stopped by another cute feature: a tortoise crossing traffic sign. Yes, that’s one of the many photo ops for you (others being the only traffic light in Victoria, the double headed palm in Takamaka down south Mahe, the only black parrot in the world, a local pigeon that has a chicken head and so on).
Another photo-op has to be the Coco-de-mer, the national fruit of Seychelles, preserved and guarded furtively. This is a giant conjoined coconut, only found here, which, interestingly looks like the female pubis. Something you would shut your kid’s eyes before he or she can see it. Sure, it is a sexy fruit, and real life size to boot.
There is more to life than Mahe in Seychelles. So you take the cute twelve-seater Air Seychelles Twin Otters to explore other islands. These cute planes fly over the ocean so low, the joke goes, you could get sea sick in the air! Explore Praslin, La Digue, Aride or Cousin. Each one prettier than the other. Though the curious rocks jutting into sea at La Digue stand out – they seem like fingers have carved them out of wet clay. They have formed stunning backdrops for many a bikini shoot.
On your island hop, if you stretch it to make it Bird Island, another divine natural paradise awaits you. Bird Island belongs to the birds. Millions of them. It is a tiny and flat island, with not much except bird watching to do. Fairy terns, lesser noddies, giant frigate birds, fodies, magpie robins and many more. During nesting season, one can hardly spot the sky, that’s how dense the bird flights are.
Curuiese is another quaint and small island just 45 mins by power boat from Praslin. Another bird conservatory, boats can’t berth at beach in Curuiese, for the fear rodents will hitch a ride and maybe destroy the carefully cultivated fauna – so you have an interesting adventure mid sea, with chopping waves of indeterminate heights, where a rubber dinghy takes off from beach and meets you 50 metres off coast, and you do a mid-sea boat transfer. That’s easier said than done, considering you have to balance your camera, binocs, tripod and most important, beer. Having landed in Curuiese, you get a feeling you are in a special place. Like Bird Island, Curuiese boasts of many species of birds. A unique one is the only black parrot found anywhere, and it’s here. The local highlight bird, payanke, or Tropic Bird nests here on the ground. A beautiful white bird the size of a chicken but with an elegant long tail feather. What’s arresting are its eyes: fully made up with kaajal it seems!
Back at our shack in Aride, Francoise, a diver from France regaled us with stories of his amazing dives. As he went on and on, I looked around and mulled over our holiday: nothing much to do, lots and lots of nature and beauty to take in, clean air, gorgeous ocean, kindly local folk, cute facts and sights – and you wonder, why aren’t all holidays like this?

 
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