Confession of an Ordinary Girl

Men usually say, “ Women are complicated. There’s a huge difference between what a woman says and what she wants.” In a way, that is true. As we expect others to understand us just the way we understand them. Not just our boyfriends and husbands, but we sometimes wish society would try to understand us too. Let us be ourselves rather than judging and passing comments on the way others look, others dress up, others present themselves. Why can’t we just live our own life to the fullest rather than concentrating on what others are doing? I mean, we have better things to do, right.

A working woman is judged for being over-ambitious and not giving time to her family. A housewife is judged for sitting at home idle. If a girl remains unmarried after 25, then it is a huge crisis for the family. Everyone wants you to get married before you turn 30 whether you want to get married or not. If you have a boyfriend, then your parents will start nagging you to tie the knot. But, if you are single, matters are even worse. Your parents and uncles and aunties come into the picture and they try to find a match for you. Which isn’t actually easy, as we all know. For both boys as well as girls.

People start judging you on your skin color, body weight, height, educational qualifications and God knows what else. And let’s face it, guys get body shamed and rejected too. At times, the reasons for being rejected seem outright funny and ridiculous. We assume the other person based on his or her first impression. How can an hour with one person help you decide whether he or she is right for you or not? After many meetings and discussions, when, finally, you do get married people are ready with their next set of questions. When are you planning to start a family? It’s already been three years. Now is the right time. And the questions just continue throughout your life. People ask you about your career, your success, your kids and your family. No one asks you if you are happy or not. Usually, nowadays, we find happiness in others’ unhappiness.

Why is our society so judgemental about everything? Why have we become so sensitive? Why are we so pessimistic and negative about others except ourselves? Who are we to decide when is the right time for someone to get married or start a family?

Why is the character of a woman judged on the clothes she wears? If she smokes and has many guys as friends, then she is a loose character. If she wears only salwar kameez, then she is a behenji. If she is dark, people call her kaali. If she is short, people call her naati. If she is fat, people call her fatty. If she is too thin, they call her skinny. The list just goes on and on. Why are we obsessed with perfection? Why can’t we just accept people for the way they are? Why don’t we focus on the inner qualities of a person rather than judging them on the way they look? Are looks so important?

Why do we still see top actors and actresses endorsing fairness creams even now? Why is dark not considered beautiful? Why does everyone want a fair-skinned, slim bride? Why do we expect the other person to be perfect when none of us are far from being called one? Why do we troll celebrities by commenting on their looks and personal life? We need to realize that they are human beings just like us and they too deserve their share of privacy. Even though social media doesn’t allow their lives to be private anymore, they too, need to be respected. Just like we all do. Their personal life doesn’t concern us and we need to learn to mind our own business.

First of all, we need to change our mindset on a personal level. Only then, society will change as a whole. Mind you, it may take God knows how many more years. No matter what we do in life, people will always have something to say about you. Good or bad, the situation may change from time to time. The ball may not always be in your court.

An ordinary girl like me used to get offended by people’s nasty remarks about my physical appearance. But, now that I have become more mature, I don’t bother. I choose to ignore. And I think that’s the best advice I can give anyone. What people think about you doesn’t matter. What you think about yourself matters. And you can’t let others’ negative views about you hamper your inner self. At times like these, you need to be your own ray of sunshine. Only then, you will able to progress. I wish society wouldn’t be so harsh on all of us. I wish we wouldn’t be so harsh and nasty towards others. As we also belong to the same society, we are equally responsible as an individual. Let’s strive to bring a change for the better and try to live in a better world for ourselves as well as others. Change begins from within. I think we all have dealt with enough. Let’s try to be one!